I am so unsure of myself
Before today, I told myself I am very happy, that I am truely happy about the things around me. My friends, my family and my school.But all the sudden, I think I have choosen the wrong course.
Today is my Dad's birthday. I wanted to buy something for him, but I didnt. Guess why? I dont know.. I just suddenly feel like being cold blooded. I also dont know why.. Not that I feel happier this way.
I am just wondering why is that some people who are cold and quiet, but can be so likeable to people too.
Some people just look good and hav no substance inside, yet people will come flocking to them.
Some people just know how to be up there, just know how to go further than others of the same age, without even have to study. While there are people down here struggling to get up, trying to get up, or if not,
take a much longer time to reach the same level as that person, who in fact, has gone further than you think.
I want to be a useful person, that's what I want to be.
Previously, I always thought there is no point being smart and all.. No point working hard to be smart.
And so, I have decided to drop.
Ok. Now that I have failed my GP and I cant go to uni.
I should be happy actually.. Because I can now go to Lasalle and be and Arts student. Cool..
But the problem now is, Arts student does not equals to Useful person..
Science is supposed to be my best area of studies. I could have studied stuff like medicine..
Then i could be a doctor or something. Saving lives and all :) Not bad an idea.
*Pop the Bubble la **** ***
I need to go overseas to study in order to be a true certified doctor leh!! dream long long la shing..
Case Close for today.
Off to watch my drama now. Let me be a lazy person for once.
I want to see the miracle that I have seen before from those around me.
Now I need to find the light somewhere.
I hate to be lazy. Right now, I have no choice.
Sian.
Happy birthday daddy. Wish you best of health.
Though I dont say it, but I really appreciate everything you have done for me.
I will work hard..
But i shall wait for my light first..
Maybe stepping back a little, I can go further later?
Sigh.
posted by shing +++== + @ 7/31/2007 02:23:00 AM
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